100+Funny Wedding Wishes and Messages for Everyone

Forget the formalities! While heartfelt sentiments have their place, every couple needs a good laugh as they embark on the marathon of marriage.

Whether you’re writing a card, a text, or a toast, we’ve rounded up over 100 hilarious wedding wishes that are guaranteed to hit the mark. From short and sweet one-liners to playful roasts for close friends, find the perfect funny message for everyone on your list.

Best Short Funny Wedding Wishes and messages

Here is a collection of the best short, funny wedding wishes and messages, perfect for a card, text, or social media post.

Short & Sweet Funny Wedding Wishes

1. Congrats! Remember, “Yes, dear” is the secret to a happy life.
2. Marriage is finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. You two are perfect for each other!
3. Officially off the market! The rest of us thank you.
4. Don’t worry, the first 50 years are the hardest.
5. Game over! You officially won at love.
6. Congrats on the upgrade from “seeing someone” to “someone seeing you leave the toilet seat up.”

Funny Wedding Wishes For the Groom (or advice for him)

7. Pro tip: “Happy wife, happy life.” Write that down.
8. To the groom: She’s always right. You’ll save a lot of time if you just accept this now.
9. Good luck! Remember, your side of the closet is now the guest room.
10. The keys to a happy marriage: 1. Let her win. 2. See rule number one.

Short Funny Wedding Wishes For the Happy Couple

11. Wishing you a lifetime of love and happiness… and a spare bathroom.
12. May your love be as endless as the arguments over the thermostat.
13. Congrats! Now you have a permanent plus-one for everything. No take-backs!
14. Here’s to love, laughter, and someone to blame for the mess.
15. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. (Just kidding! Congrats!)

16. You know what they say: “Till death do us part” means you’re stuck with each other’s weird habits. Enjoy!
17. Congrats on becoming the person your mother-in-law can officially criticize to your face!
18. Marriage: where “I do” quickly turns into “Can you take out the trash?”
19. Cheers to the happy couple! May your Wi-Fi be strong and your arguments be weak.
20. So happy you found your other half. Now you can finally share the blame!

For a Close Friend or Sibling (A Little Roasty)

21. I never believed in soulmates until I saw you two together. Mostly because I couldn’t believe two people this weird found each other. Never change!
22. Congrats! I’m so glad you found someone as strange as you are.
23. Marriage is a journey. Thankfully, you now have someone to ask for directions.
24. Who gets the remote? May the best negotiator win.
25. Seriously, though, we’re so happy for you. (But also, please never procreate—the world isn’t ready for that level of combined weirdness). Just kidding! Love you both!

Witty and Wise Funny Wedding Wishes

26. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. And also, agreeing on what’s for dinner.
27. Marriage is about three things: remembering anniversaries, forgetting mistakes, and sharing the last slice of pizza.
28. Congrats! Now you have a built-in excuse to leave any party early.
29. Wishing you less arguing about directions and more about who loves the other more.
30. The easiest part is over. Welcome to the main event

Funny Wedding Wishes for Newlywed Couple

Weddings are a time for joy, love, and… well, let’s be honest, a little bit of gentle roasting. While heartfelt wishes are beautiful, sometimes the couple needs a good laugh as they embark on the wild ride of marriage. So, for the couple who appreciates humor, here are some funny wishes that celebrate the real beginning of their adventure together.

• Marriage is finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. You two are perfect for each other!
• Congrats on the wedding! Don’t worry, the secret to a happy marriage is still a secret. Let us know if you figure it out.
• Congratulations! Remember, a successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. And also, learning to say, “You’re right, I shouldn’t have put that in the dishwasher.”
• They say marriage is a 50/50 partnership. That’s a myth. It’s more like 90/10, and you’ll each think you’re the 90. Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor!
• Congrats on the upgrade from “Facebook Official” to “IRS Official.” May your love be as endless as the tax benefits.
• Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’re looking for a club and a spade. Just kidding! Wishing you all the hearts.
• I never believed in soulmates until I saw you two together. Mostly because I couldn’t believe two people who are this weird found each other. Never change!
• Marriage is about three things: remembering anniversaries, forgetting mistakes, and extending the Wi-Fi to the whole house. You’ve got this.
• So, which one of you is going to be right all the time? Just kidding… we all know it’s [Bride’s Name].
• Congratulations! My advice? Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight like civilized people.
• Here’s to love, laughter, and a lifetime of someone stealing the covers. May your happiness be infinite, and your arguments be finite.
• A good marriage is like a casserole: only those responsible for it really know what went into it. Wishing you a deliciously happy life together!
• Congratulations on completing the easiest day of your marriage! It’s all teamwork, compromise, and figuring out whose family to visit for the holidays from here on out.

If they appreciated funny wedding wishes last year, they’ll love these first anniversary messages

Classic One-Liners for Funny Wedding Wishes of Newlywed Couple

• Don’t worry, the first 50 years are the hardest.
• You know what they say: “Happy wife, happy life.” (Husband, you might want to write that down).
• Congrats! Now you have a permanent plus-one for everything. No take-backs!
• Officially out of the dating market! The rest of us thank you.
• So happy you found your “person.” Now the real arguing over the thermostat can begin!
• Marriage tip: She’s always right. You’ll save a lot of time if you just accept this now.
• Wishing you a lifetime of love and happiness… and a spare bathroom.

Funny Wedding Wishes For Daughter and Son

Funny wedding wishes tailored specifically for a daughter and son-in-law, blending a parent’s love with a touch of humor. If you want to read a detailed post on wedding wishes for granddaughter and son, then you can read this article.

From a Parent’s Heart (With a Wink)

1. To our daughter and new son: Welcome to the family, [Son’s Name]! You come with a lifetime warranty, just like all the appliances we’ve ever bought. Use with care!
2. Congratulations, sweethearts! [Daughter’s Name], we’ve taught you everything we know. Now it’s your turn to train [Son’s Name]. Good luck to you both!
3. We’ve always said we’d give our daughter to a wonderful man. [Son’s Name], we’re still looking, but in the meantime, we’re thrilled she chose you! Just kidding—we love you! Congrats!
4. To my daughter and her new husband: Remember, marriage is a partnership. [Daughter’s Name], you’re always right. [Son’s Name], your job is to agree. It’s that simple.
5. Congratulations! We promise not to give [Son’s Name] too much embarrassing advice… just enough to be helpful. And annoying.

Light-Hearted “Advice”

6. Wishing you a lifetime of happiness. [Son’s Name], a word of advice: her “I’m fine” is never fine. You’ll learn. You’ll learn.
7. Congrats, you two! Our best marriage tip: whoever gets out of bed first makes the coffee. It’s the key to survival.
8. To the happy couple: May your love be strong, your WiFi stronger, and your arguments about whose turn it is to take out the trash be short-lived.
9. Remember, a successful marriage is about three things: remembering anniversaries, forgetting mistakes, and pretending to like each other’s cooking. You’ve got this!
10. Here’s to love, laughter, and learning that “for better or worse” includes seeing each other with the flu. The romance is real!

Roasting with Love

11. [Daughter’s Name], we’re so glad you found a man who can handle your… enthusiasm. [Son’s Name], you are a brave, brave soul. We adore you both!
12. Congratulations! We now officially have another son to spoil… and blame when things go wrong. Welcome to the family!
13. They say a daughter is a treasure. [Son’s Name], you just hit the jackpot. Treat her like the priceless gem she is, or her mother will find you.
14. We’re not losing a daughter; we’re gaining a son… and hopefully, someone who can finally fix our printer. Congrats!
15. We’ve seen [Daughter’s Name] at her best and her worst. [Son’s Name], you have no idea what you’ve signed up for. But we’ll be here with popcorn and advice!

Short & Sweet One-Liners

16. Congrats! [Son’s Name], the manual for our daughter is long and confusing, so you’re on your own now.
17. So happy for you! Remember, marriage is the number one cause of divorce… so beat the odds!
18. To our favorite daughter and her new husband: Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do… which gives you plenty of room. Have fun!
19. You two are proof that love is blind… especially to each other’s weird habits. Never change!
20. We love you both! Now please procreate so we can have grandchildren. (Too soon? Okay, just focus on the love part for now).

How to Use Them: These messages work perfectly in a wedding card. You can pick one that fits your family’s vibe, or mix and match a funny line with a sincere sentiment like, “But all jokes aside, we are so incredibly happy for you and wish you a lifetime of true joy.”

Funny Wedding Wishes For Best Friend

1. So glad you’re finally making an honest man/woman out of each other. I was getting tired of covering for you.
2. Congrats! I’ve seen your search history, so it’s a miracle you found anyone, let alone someone this perfect. Don’t screw it up!
3. They say marriage is about compromise. So, you get to be right 95% of the time, and they get to be right the other 5%. Seems fair.
4. Remember all our crazy adventures? Well, buckle up… this is the biggest one yet! Love you both!
5. I never believed in soulmates until you two got together. Mostly because I didn’t think anyone could handle your weirdness. You found your perfect match!
6. Congratulations! You’ve just unlocked the ultimate life achievement: a permanent plus-one and someone to blame for all the weird smells.
7. Marriage is like a long phone call with customer service. Eventually, you just learn to say, “I understand” a lot. Good luck!
8. I’m so happy for you! Now you have someone else to force to watch your terrible reality TV shows.
9. To my best friend: I’ve seen you at your best and your absolute worst. It’s a testament to your partner’s character that they still showed up today. You’ve got a good one!
10. Congrats! Don’t worry, the secret to a happy marriage is still a secret. Let me know if you figure it out.
11. I’m not losing a best friend; I’m gaining a drinking buddy/wingman/woman when you need a break from each other. My phone is always on!
12. You two are proof that love is blind… especially when it comes to each other’s questionable fashion choices. Made for each other!
13. Here’s to love, laughter, and a lifetime of someone stealing the covers. May your arguments be few and your WiFi signal strong.
14. I’ve got your back today, and I’ll have your back when you “accidentally” lose their favorite mug. Team [Best Friend’s Name] for life!
15. All jokes aside, seeing you this happy is the best thing ever. Love you both! (Now about those grandkids… kidding! …Unless?)

Choose the ones that best fit your unique friendship!

Funny Things to Write in a Wedding Card to Your Best Friend

• “Congrats on the big day! From now on you’ve got a built-in scapegoat for every questionable life choice—use wisely.”
• “Marriage is basically a deck of cards: you start with two hearts and a diamond, and ten years later you’re hunting a club and a shovel.”
• “Raise a glass to love, loud laughs, and those weird little inside jokes that make outsiders wonder if you’re both slightly unhinged.”

Funny Wedding Messages for Family

Funny Wedding Messages for Cards to Daughter and Son-in-law

• “Congrats on the wedding, kids! Here’s to a lifetime stuffed with love, belly laughs, and a permanent stack of take-out menus on the fridge.”
• “Welcome to the clan, son-in-law! Fair warning—our family has a strict no-return policy, so you’re stuck with us (and our holiday sweaters).”
• “To my daughter and her brand-new partner-in-crime: may your love have Wi-Fi strength when life glitches, yet still be old-school enough to last longer than grandma’s fruitcake.”

Humorous Wedding Card Messages to Son and Daughter-in-law

• “Congrats, kiddo—you’ve somehow convinced another human to embrace your oddball habits. Well played.”
• “Welcome to the tribe, daughter-in-law! Heads-up: our family tree’s got a few squirrels in it, but we’re mostly harmless.”
• “To my son and his brand-new better half: may your love age like that bottle of cheap wine we hid in the cellar—tastier over time and thankfully not pricier.”

Crafting Your Own Funny Wedding Card Message

Funny Wedding Quotes & Sayings

Need a spark? Here’s a grab-bag—steal, tweak, or just let them jump-start your own weird genius.

Quick-fire one-liners

• “Marriage: the only war where you sleep with the enemy—and steal their covers.”
• “Congratulations! You’ve unlocked the ‘forever’ level; cheat codes still unknown.”
• “May your love be like Wi-Fi—strong in every room, even the bathroom.”

Slightly longer zingers

• “Marriage is a walk in the park… Jurassic Park. Bring snacks, a map, and maybe a flare gun.”
• “Here’s to love, laughter, and a joint Netflix queue you’ll actually agree on—may the odds be ever in your favor.”

Pop-culture-twisted quotes

• “Love is blind, but marriage is the optometrist appointment you can’t reschedule.”
• “A good marriage is like a smartphone: it only crashes when you forget to update it.”

Borrowed-from-the-pros quips

1. “Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right and the other is the husband.” – Unknown
2. “A good marriage is like a casserole: only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.” – Unknown
3. “Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.” – Pauline Thomason
4. “The best way to remember your anniversary is to forget it once.” – Anonymous
5. “An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” – Agatha Christie

Modernized classics

• Old: “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”
  New: “The way to anyone’s heart is through their DoorDash password.”
• Old: “Happy wife, happy life.”
  New: “Happy spouse, happy house, happy bank account optional.”

Digital-age chuckles

• “May your marriage have fewer glitches than your Zoom calls and better connection than your WiFi.”
• “Congrats on finding someone whose autocorrect doesn’t change ‘love you’ to ‘live you.’”

Read more: 18th wedding anniversary wishes and messages

Conclusion

And there you have it—over 100 ways to make the happy couple smile on their big day! Whether you chose a short quip or a playful roast, the best gift you can give is a genuine laugh to start their marriage on a joyful note. So, pick your favorite message, sign that card, and raise a glass to the newlyweds. Here’s to a lifetime of love, laughter, and happily ever after!

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